| Shed the skin |
[Nov. 10th, 2007|12:10 pm] |
Its come that time in my life to shed my skin because im ready to.
Ready to remove all the negativity in my life, naturally or by force.
Turning a new page and writing it my way.
Living my life to the fullest, being healthy, and making decisions to better myself.
So if anyone wants to mess with that I don't have an ear to hear you anymore.
You can't touch me, you can't hurt me, or change me...love it or hate it. |
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| Mindless self doubt...realized |
[Dec. 28th, 2005|05:12 pm] |
I'm the reason for the word attention whore
I sleep with the TV on
I hate myself
I'm a myspace whore
I chew with my mouth open
I hate that little part of me that can never be happy with myself or anything about my life
I can't stand my body
I'm selfish
I'm opinionated
I'm optimism retarted
I hate ideas before I think of them
I can't make up my mind
I've lost more of my friends in the past month than I've had in years
I'm devastating to my own sense of self worth
I make myself want to cry
I make many people cry
This list will never end, I've just got more important things to do than actually get all of them down. I realize that a couple of these things aren't me, but I felt the need to say them because certain people don't realize these things about themselves. Now don't take this the wrong way I'm not complaining about these people, I just wish they'd wake up to the fact that there are more important things in life. All in all I just needed to take a moment and be down on myself. Yes that does sound retarted, in fact, it is. But moments like these help me improve myself. |
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| Goodbye |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|09:41 am] |
With spirit that dreams hold
I plead for my life
A lost man
Among the living he walks
With scars hopelessly visible
To show his time is almost out
He dreamed his dream
Lost his way
And lost his life
Goodbye
With love to you all |
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| Back into the fire... |
[Sep. 6th, 2005|06:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The sound of my own thoughts repeating in my head | ] |
Funny how some things, some feelings never really go away. No matter how much or how long you leave it in the back of your mind, it stays there, tickling the feeble edge of the real, the consciousness that we all forget about. All I'm saying is, I just needed to say it, or write it. Maybe then I can get rid of it. Or do I even want to? That question I'll leave for later. Have a nice night poker pals. |
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| The Departure... |
[Jan. 10th, 2005|07:47 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Frou Frou - Let Go | ] |
Goodbye. |
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| Pick my brain, Find the stain, Only memories remain... |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|08:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Coheed And Cambria - The Crowing | ] |
Weird things, sleeping, having no dream, waking up, falling back to sleep, having a nightmare about a friend, then waking up, returning to sleep only to dream up the greatest video game ever made. I'm going insane here. This post will of course be random incoherent rambling, but hey it's what you get. I love the fact that I have found the one person who makes my life worth living and worth taking. The worst and best person in my life. I reiterate, I'm going insane. I think I might as well slip into a coma, at least for the sleep.
"Dear Anbellina the Prise wishes you to watch over, Dear Anbellina the Prise wishes all to watch over me." |
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| WHAT THE FUCK??? |
[Dec. 23rd, 2004|03:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Motion City Soundtrack - Indoor Living | ] |
Am I totally lost, or am I going fucking insane? Has anyone noticed? I'm becoming a living contradiction. What a big surprise. I'm gonna be single again, WHOO-HOO!!!!!!!!! Anyone know of any cozy places where I could lock myself up for about 6 months? Oh and uh, Aw fuck it I'm On Fire And I Think I'm Ready To Bust A Move. I'm making the same mistakes over again. And I thought I was improving. So here's to wasted time, flawed logic, and empty headed promises of forever. BOTTOMS UP!!! |
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| Ushackled, Bitches!!!!!!! |
[Dec. 17th, 2004|06:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | single then not, plus pissed off | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Motion City Soundtrack - When You're Around | ] |
Midwest love affair i've been when i am bored,
Late night liquor blue will lead me to the floor.
Can we fake it?
Can we make believe?
I'm so full of love it deeply sickens me
But all i can do is close my eyes and
Cross my heart and hope to die,
'Cause you don't fucking listen
When i'm around.
The least you could do is take it back,
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks
'Cause i can't fucking stand it
When you're around
Midwest stuffed 'em and the rumors stuck to rise
Did i truly do the things that you've described?
Misunderstanding every single word,
It just sickens them what i consider fun.
But all i can do is close my eyes and
Cross my heart and hope to die,
'Cause you don't fucking listen
When i'm around.
The least you could do is take it back,
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks
'Cause i can't fucking stand it
When you're around.
No, I can't fucking stand it when you're around. |
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| Miss me? |
[Nov. 21st, 2004|10:45 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dave Matthews Band - Satellite | ] |
Not really a question, but at least I'm updating. Life was starting to feel good again, but as always something decides to go wrong and I get thrown for a loop. I'm feeling, ah screw it I'm not feeling, that's the point. I'm just empty, I keep moving along waiting for something to provoke feeling, but all I get is nothing. I'm going through the motions and I'm getting tired of it. It's becoming less and less productive, thank god I gave up. New prospects are looking well, but scare me for the same eery feeling is rearing its head once again. And we all know what happened the last time I had that feeling, ok maybe we all don't know who or what I'm talking about here, but bear with me I'm venting. I guess the latest thing with me is I'm failing miserably at trying to make things work when I'm stretched so thin that a feather could break me. I'm just getting pulled in ten directions. Self-help quote of the moment: Just deal, mothafucka!
Edit:
Life isn't total shit, I'm going to a Velvet Revolver concert tonight! |
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| Breaking news v2.0 |
[Oct. 31st, 2004|11:01 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | My Chemical Romance - The Ghost Of You | ] |
First headline of the evening: Sean is fucking sick!
Second headline: Sean is tired!!(of many things not just the bodily variety)
Third headline: Sean is an asshole!!!
Fourth headline: Sean wants everything to be over or for fuck sake at least straightened out!!!!
Final headline: Sean has seen and loves Donnie Darko!!!!!(Frank kicks ass, well what I mean is that the outfit kicks major ass) |
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| Breaking news....ah fuck it. |
[Oct. 24th, 2004|10:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | lost, hurt, done, tired, dead | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Revis - Seven | ] |
It's Over, It's All Over Now. Help.
( Lyrics ) |
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| No Rest For The Wicked... |
[Oct. 16th, 2004|10:42 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hurt | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | My Chemical Romance - Cubicles | ] |
For everyone out there listening, please cut me some slack, I'm trying. All I can gaurantee is that I will try. The problem is that I'm trying to do too many things at once. |
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| 17, Ha Big Deal |
[Sep. 30th, 2004|04:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Chevelle - Vitamin R (Leading Us Along) | ] |
Hurray, another year gone by, filled with more disappointments than I ever imagined. And yet filled with so many surprises and gifts than I thought possible. So I think it turned out alright. The only reason I'm even giving thought to this birthday is the fact that I no longer have a state curfew. Peace out. |
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| Once again, I am the world's example. |
[Sep. 20th, 2004|08:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | almost dead, already dead, hurt, tired, ready for the end, refreshed and waiting for something new, | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | New Found Glory - Singled Out | ] |
Come one come all. See my show. My pain is real. These scars are reminders. Learn. The pain is free. Take if you please. No refunds.
**EDIT**
"The pain is always free"
I wonder if I can trade it in during the after-life for some kind of prize or something, maybe even some bliss. Just a thought. |
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| I am Jack's wasted life... |
[Sep. 17th, 2004|12:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Coheed & Cambria - Three Evils (Embodied In Love And Shadow) | ] |
Give me another chance. |
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| Death of a Philosopher. |
[Sep. 16th, 2004|03:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | falling apart yet strangely together ah fuck it i'm just fine | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Trapt - Enigma | ] |
The screams...
The heavy breathing...
The ecstacy...
The pleasure...
The fulfillment...
The Love...
Gone...Maybe Lost Forever...Death...A Sweet Embrace...A Release From The Cycle...I'm Running Out Of Pain
For this there is no comfort, just understanding. The problem with that is there IS no understanding. No REAL reason. Only misguided thoughts, and half truths. Only lost memories. That is all that stands in my way. I guess I'll just put my walking shoes on. The Damn Corpse walks again!!! Big news flash for anyone watching. Maybe a little poetry for good measure.
I'm fallin' apart
Knew from the start
It was a problem of the heart
Let it be
Live the lie
Live and let die
Leave me where I lie
Goodbye |
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| Remember that night... |
[Sep. 14th, 2004|08:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  worried/sick/leaving/staying/dying inside/mono stricken | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Ataris - The Night That The Lights Went Out In NYC | ] |
The lights are out in the city tonight
So close your eyes, gaze up at the heavens
And see if you can point me out
If I could have one wish tonight
I'd wish upon a satellite
To bring me back to you
We spend our whole lives searching for
All the things we think we want
And never really knowing what we have
So many paths that we can take
To bring us to our destiny
Gaze up at the heavens
And see if you can point me out
If I could have one wish tonight
I'd wish upon a satellite
To bring me back to you
We spend our whole lives searching for
All the things we think we want
And never really knowing what we have
Be careful what you wish for
These stars are fading out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2004|05:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | New Found Glory - I'd Kill To Fall Asleep | ] |
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| So I Ask... |
[Sep. 8th, 2004|06:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Slick Shoes - Have I Said Too Much? | ] |
Question: What should I do?
Reply: Stay, I have a good feeling.
I hope this reply turns out right. I wish I could say that I have a good feeling about this.
God give me patience. |
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| Let Go. |
[Aug. 8th, 2004|10:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | irritated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The beating of my own heart. | ] |
A still, soft, quietly spoken voice that persistently calls my name. And I rest. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2004|05:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | dead | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Slipknot - Duality | ] |
He died minutes later. Now his soul waits to be resurrected.
Can you see me now
I am myself
Like you somehow
I'll ride the wave
Where it takes me
I'll hold the pain
Release me
Can you see me now
I am myself
Like you somehow
I'll wait up in the dark
For you to speak to me
I'll open up
Release me |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 4th, 2004|09:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dave Matthews Band - Fool To Think | ] |
Wait. Wait a little more. Just one more second. Here it is...( Outcome ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2004|07:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Linkin Park - Breaking The Habit | ] |
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